As a parent, it can sometimes come as a shock when your child begins to question their gender identity. Or, maybe you were caught off guard by your child’s questions or declarations. That’s okay! However, it might not be a topic you’re familiar with. It’s normal to need some help and guidance as you work to support your kids. The most important thing you can do for them is to show your support, no matter what.
With that in mind, let’s cover a few ways you can be there for your child when they’re questioning their identity and how you can help them come into their own and discover who they truly are.
Believe Them
If your child approaches you about their gender identity or sexuality, it’s important to realize what a big step that was for them. Chances are, they’ve been thinking about it for a while. Maybe they’ve been nervous about bringing it up or unsure what to say. Don’t automatically assume they’re going through a phase or brush off their questions and statements because of their age.
Instead, believe what they’re saying. Listen to their reasons. Answer their questions and help guide them through the process of figuring out who they are. They’re coming to you because they trust you. It’s essential that you believe them without judgment right away.
Create a Comforting Home Environment
It’s important that your child feels comfortable enough to express themselves and explore their identity at home. That means your home needs to be a judgment-free zone where they feel safe. Everyone in the family needs to be on board. Does that mean you have to understand everything? Not immediately. It does, however, mean that everyone should be respectful of your child’s choices and their journey as they work to discover who they are.
Help Them Find a Community
When your child is questioning their identity, it’s easy for them to feel confused about things at times. You might not have all of the answers, and the last thing you want is for your child to feel lost or alone when they’re on a journey of discovery.
One of the best things you can do is to introduce them to people in the LGBTQIA+ community. Seek out local groups or organizations nearby and go with your child. It’s important for them to talk to people who have been through similar situations in the past. They’ll get insight into how they’re feeling and what it all might mean.
Consider Therapy or a Support Group
The unfortunate reality is that not everyone will be open and accepting when your child starts questioning their gender identity. They might deal with family members or friends who don’t understand or who try to convince them they’re wrong. They might experience bullying in school. Or, they might just feel overwhelmed or even frustrated by the influx of emotions and questions they’re dealing with.
While you should do everything in your power to be their foundation and a constant source of support, therapy or a support group can help bolster their feelings and let them know they aren’t alone outside their family. Support groups can be effective if they’re talking to others who are going through the same struggles, but therapy is a fantastic way to get to the root of their feelings.
If your child is questioning their gender identity, keep these steps in mind. They’ll look to you for support, guidance, and comfort. Being able to show your unconditional love in these ways will make a big difference. If you’re worried they’re struggling as they embark on this journey, don’t hesitate to reach out and make an appointment. You can check out our LGBTQ+ Affirmative Therapy page for more information.